Active Listening

Ever felt like you are talking to someone, and whilst they are listening to you, they seem a little distracted and you are not sure that you have their full attention? If so, you are not alone! This is because they are not ‘active listening’. 

Active listening is a skill that goes beyond simply hearing the words that another person speaks.

It's about actively processing and seeking to understand the meaning and intent behind them. It requires being a mindful and focused participant in the communication process and giving the person your full attention.

When you are ‘actively listening’ to what someone is saying, they will feel more understood and it can even strengthen your relationships with the other person as it shows that you are willing to see their perspective and empathise with their situation instead of focusing on yourself, or something else that’s on your mind.

So, how can you become better at active listening?

• Be fully present in the conversation – give that person your full attention, and stop thinking about other things
  
• Show interest by practicing good eye contact and non-verbal communication – look at the person when they are talking to you, and use gestures such as head nodding and smiling
• Ask open-ended questions to encourage further responses – this shows that you are listening, you are interested and you want to know more.
• Paraphrase and reflect back what has been said – this is so that you can check your understanding of what they have said, and also tells them that you have really heard what they are saying.
• Listen to understand rather than to respond – when you are thinking of a response, you are not actively listening. It is ok to say, “let me just digest that information before I give you a response”.
• Withhold judgment and advice -sometimes people just want to be heard. If they want your advice, they will ask for it!