Assertiveness

Being assertive means being able to communicate in a calm and positive way. Assertive individuals are able to get their point across without upsetting others, or becoming upset.

How to be assertive:

Talk to yourself in an assertive way – I won’t be taken advantage of, and I won’t attack other people, if they do not agree with me.

Speak calmly and be clear – Use a non-threatening tone, be confident in what you are saying and speak loudly enough to be heard, but don’t shout.

Stand or sit tall and maintain eye contact – Sit tall, hold your head high and deliver you message in a confident way. Smile, and maintain eye contact.

Use constructive language and always be considerate – Convey respect, sincerity and firmness. Be patient with others and give constructive comments. State your wants/needs/opinions in simple sentences and use ‘I’ statements when asking for what you want or confronting someone. ‘I’ statements show that you are willing to take responsibilities for your own feelings and behaviours.

Display assertive body language – show that you are paying careful attention to what the other person is saying by being open and using gestures such smiling and nodding, avoid fidgeting, looking around the room or playing on your phone!

Think through a problem/situation carefully before making a decision – being assertive means taking control and making decisions that are in your best interest. By identifying all possible solutions and outcomes, you’ll be able to be more confident in the decisions you make.

Practice! – If you are unsure, practice with someone you know and trust. They will give you honest and constructive feedback and help you to try out real life scenario’s in a safe environment.